Archive | March 2013

Runner’s Smile

Today was an absolutely glorious day for a run. So I took advantage of it. And ran.


It felt so good to get out there and try a very specific run (which I’ll write about later) and just enjoy the feeling of outdoors and freedom and health. (Gross, I know, but true nonetheless)

I was running with a smile pretty much plastered on my face (also in part because I knew it was going to be a short run so I would be back to eat my celebratory ice cream in no time). A few minutes in, I saw a woman running towards me with a smile also plastered on her face. She looked more like a hardcore runner (probably thinking about her pace and not the ice cream that was waiting for her at home) and she was going at a happy clip like me. 

When we were close enough, we looked at each other through our nice, polarized, expensive running sunglasses and exchanged a big smile. When we were close enough, I said “Hi!” and she said “Hi!” right back. It was just a moment, but it was like we were exchanging a secret runner handshake that affirmed this ridiculously repetitive and silly act we were doing is actually a secret to lasting happiness.

At least that’s what I was thinking. I’m sure she thought the same. Probably. Maybe. Surely. Yeah.

Either way, it was a small and awesome exchange. And it put a little extra pep in my step. And made the short but sweet run even sweeter.

(Plus, the post-run ice cream also helped add some sweetness. Did I mention I was thinking of the ice cream the whole time? Because I was. And now you probably are, too. You’re welcome.) 


The Miracle Diet Worked!

Despite being on a pretty intense cleanse, and despite being nervous about not training enough (for various reasons- exhaustion from the cleanse, getting sick twice during an already short training period) the San Diego Half Marathon last Sunday was a great running success! I set a new PR averaging 8:46 minute miles.


Not to mention, as you can see, I was able to keep my spirits high (at least when I saw the camera).

Personal fitness rule #1- never make it look hard. (Even if you’re secretly screaming inside)

I just made up that personal fitness rule. I kinda like it. Maybe I should keep it.

Taking a body breather for a couple days to recover and soon I’ll hope right back into training for the next race.

Oh, and wait til you hear about the ridiculousness the next race will be. I already want to cry…




I’ll admit it. I got a late start on the day. That one’s my fault. I’m doing this cleanse and it has my energy a bit lower than normal so I’m trying to rest more than usual. Sure. Fine. That’s fine.

Instead of going to my normal gym at my normal time- early ass morning- I went to another gym near my day job at a later time in the day.

This gym just got a total makeover and looks really pretty. And it’s filled with a bunch of assholes.

That’s because every single treadmill was full (except, of course the out-of-order ones which are plentiful at every one of my gyms…even the completely renovated brand-new ones).

Hey! Great! Lots of people running! Working out! Hoorah! I love when people exercise. I’ve got no problems with that at all.

My problem is, the vast majority of the people hogging the numerous functioning treadmills were walking. Slowly.

I get it. I’m the obnoxious type of person who lives in Southern California and still runs on a treadmill. But I do it because I do weird runs and I like to know my exact pace and have total control over the speed and the elevation and sometimes check my heart rate. Translation = I’m a bit controlling and treadmills allow me that control.

What I never do, however, is walk for a long period of time on a treadmill. I walk during the five minutes of my cooldown after I just kicked my own ass for 40-50 minutes. I live in Southern California. If I wanted a leisurely stroll, I would walk in my beautiful neighborhood.

Besides, if I looked around and saw that every single treadmill was full and I was just walking I would get off the treadmill and let someone else use it because I’m a decent person. Emphasis on the italics.

I’ve got no problem if you can’t run or it’s not your thing. Totally fine. But go outside and get the benefits of the fresh air if all you’re going to do is walk. Or do any number of low impact cardio machines that you’ve got available. And get off the treadmill so those of us who are freaking out about cramming in the last few training runs before their next half marathon can actually use the machine for what it was designed to do.

Lesson learned. I’m done with that gym for now and going back to my much dirtier, much more accommodating gym. Even though we have fewer treadmills, I very rarely see any walking assholes hogging all of them. And I guess I’ll just have to keep getting up early- even if it means more afternoon naps.

I do love a good afternoon nap.

Rumbly in my Tumbly

Yesterday I was supposed to run my last long run before my half marathon Sunday, March 10.

I was TIRED. All day long. My normally high energy was very, very low. I kept wondering why the hell it was so freaking low…then I remembered this silly cleanse.

So I gave myself the usual, “Mind over matter” pep talk and by 2:30 in the afternoon (normally I workout at 6 am-ish), I went for a … ahem… ‘run.’

I went really really slow. About 10 minutes in I wanted to turn around more than anything in the world. It was absolutely beautiful out. The weather was perfect. I hadn’t eaten anything ridiculous. I was just plum tired.

So I made a turn that meant I would be cutting the run short. And the second after I did that, I calmed down my anxieties, accepted the fact that this run wouldn’t be as far or as long as I’d hoped, and I smiled as I looked around at the beauty around me.

When I got home after 25 minutes (nowhere near the 2 hour goal), I was utterly exhausted. I was in PJ’s and in bed by 8pm that night. And my stomach was making wild and crazy noises (stomach, intestines and colon… yeah. Pleasant, I know.) It was like growling and quasi-spasming. It wasn’t painful or scary, it was just weird. I think much of my energy is going towards the detox in my body, so I need to respect that and let it be.

I accepted the fact that I want to do it all- work hard all week at my day job, pursue my comedy dreams all night, get up really early to workout, and cleanse my body on an intense detox while training for a half marathon- but sometimes you just need a break. And that’s ok.

I’m a little apprehensive about the race on Sunday now that I didn’t get all the long runs I hoped in. But the one two weeks ago was fantastic and this diet is doing nothing but helping (usually), so I should be fine. It will be fine. Everything will be fine. Even if it’s not fine, that’s just fine.